dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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