Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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