I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
