S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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