im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
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I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
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She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize