The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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