now i know why i became what i already was.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
