How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
