am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
