I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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