Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
