john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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