u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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