id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
