what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize