So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
