I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
