I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
