Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize