are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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