Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
