What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
