who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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