sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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