I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
