i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This baby is an asshole
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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