Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
