I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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