I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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