I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
