There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
