You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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