Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
