My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I party with great urgency now.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
