I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
