Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
