she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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