Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
