i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
