but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
