tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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