so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
