If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize