Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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