He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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