Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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