I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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