What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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