haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
