And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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