Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
