Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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