Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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