Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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