We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
