I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
