just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
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I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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