I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
