Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize