Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
