I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
