We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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